Can the balance between preserving authenticity and embracing transformation truly be achieved?
It’s a question that resonates deeply with me, particularly when reflecting on my own life. There’s a lot I wish to change, I wonder whether I really want to. I see a similarity with this, and the way I approach renovation.
Speaking of renovation, check out the amazing Australian lighting store I have discovered. Their story is at the end of this blog, stunning reproductions for the latest looks. Needless to say, I’ve become slightly obsessed.
But let’s circle back to me, shall we? I’ve long desired more control over certain aspects of my life, particularly my relationship with alcohol—a remnant from years of self-medication with both legal and illicit substances. The older I get, the more it would seem that the natural ‘illicit’ drugs were what kept me going. That and the angry Dad angel on my shoulder saying, “Use your brain, Michelle”.
I changed jobs as frequently as I moved house. I’ve been a Checkout Chick working for an absolute pervert of a man who I would catch snogging and feeling up ladies out the back store room on the regular. I don’t know why they let him; he was fat and ugly, and he did have money, but I doubt they ever saw any of it. He did unspeakable things with Cabana (i’ll leave that there), such an abusive man, all this while his dutiful wife sat in a dark room doing the finances. He dared not do anything to me, he could read the ‘don’t you fucking dare’ look in my eye. We were both happy to see each other’s backs.
Re-invent:
I was a Receptionist for a large accounting firm in the city. One of the head accountants was a bit of a lady’s man; I had to cover his infidelities from his wife. When the business partnership dissolved and he asked me to remain his receptionist and move to his new offices, I apologised and did not accept. I knew things were only going to become more complicated. No amount of money could compensate for that, so I hot-footed it out of the office (there seemed to be a theme developing). Office work was never really my thing anyway.
I worked for a health organisation doing just about anything required. It was a slow job, and I was quite bored a lot of the time; again it was too office-oriented for me.
There was a stint part-time in a shoe shop before being employed in a fairy shop on Phillip Island as the head fairy. I gave wishes to good and naughty children and the odd motor GP racer pre-race. It was such a fun job, running birthday parties and school holiday activities, but once all the children had been to and had a Fairy Birthday Party for themselves, it was not long before the novelty had worn off. Inevitably, I moved on, laid down my fairy wand and flower headband, and redesigned myself yet again.
I became a full-time Nanny for a family of four children in Melbourne. I had known the family for many years, and I loved them very much. As well as entertaining the children, I got to experience many different situations with them and the extended family. I enjoyed supporting each of them through their own challenges, and I have a plethora of fond memories. Each one of them has grown into an exceptional human, and I feel lucky to have been a part of their lives.
Life changed once my children came into my life. They filled the need for me to be an obsessive people-pleaser, a new habit, a time to redesign. I needed to do a complete internal renovation; the exterior remained the same, but internally, it was a gut job—a time to be serious.
Redesign:
After the all-too-usual breakup of my relationship, I left with the two children and purchased my new/old home. It was a beach shack that needed a makeover and a bit of love. I was happy renovating and decorating and went with an MCM retro feel, which suited the house perfectly. With this house, my very own, I would design everything and anything I wanted. We had a vegetable garden and chickens, these were good times.
I had been amassing various antiques, artwork, and collectables for the whole time, which I ended up selling at markets and at my Bazaar stall. It was a great source of extra income, with up to x20 return. A bonus for a single mother of two.
It allowed me to have a reason to fulfil my passion for rummaging through Opportunity Shops and garage sales for treasures. I did it and enjoyed it so other people who did not have the time or desire didn’t have to.
Re-invent:
Back at the same health organisation that I had worked at many years earlier I was employed working with volunteers. I recruited volunteers, helped run an Opportunity Shop, and arranged volunteer drivers for client’s medical transport. It was a privilege to work with such wonderful people, even if my second superior was an absolute bitch to me. I had many happy memories and learnt so much about life through the ladies and gentlemen who were dedicating their spare time to helping their community; they were kind, inspiring and humbling.
Moving on yet again, I randomly became a Cheese Affineur and ‘farm gate’ seller on a family-run farm in a small town on a busy tourist route. It was a splendid job of tasting and ageing cheese to sell through the farm store and to restaurants. I enjoyed helping to design packaging and labels, it was a mix of being with people and being able to create. It was interesting, challenging and fattening. The cheese, the fresh milk, the cream! I made fresh butter from the cream; it was terrific, and I enjoyed it immensely.
Working in the Menswear and children’s departments in one of Melbournes largest Department stores, I had the opportunity to work beside many fantastic people. Still, the regularity of witnessing rampant theft, thieves blatantly trashing the store and walking out with whatever they wanted was a disillusioning experience. People can be such assholes.
Christmas was my favourite time of year, Santa photos, Christmas trees, wrapping presents and beautiful decorations. People were happier and more willing to chat and not rush. I momentarily became enthralled by the Joy of Christmas propaganda and consumerism.
I stayed in some jobs because I didn’t think I could do better, and to be honest, at those times, I couldn’t be bothered trying. Then there were the ones that opened up a whole new world, and I really enjoyed them.
There were more houses to renovate: an abandoned and unloved beach house and another home in the suburbs. Once one was complete, I became itchy for another. I wish I had realised this passion years ago. Sourcing decorations and choosing paint colours, finding the perfect piece of furniture or art, redesigning interiors and creating harmonious garden spaces is my little slice of heaven.
And now? I am in France, living in a Medieval Village, with my beautiful husband and my faithful canine, on the other side of the world from my family. Redesigned as a ‘lady of leisure’ due to the fact that I cannot work in France with my current Visa. We totally renovated four levels of a building which is over 300 years old from the ground up, a mammoth task which we thoroughly enjoyed. The dirt, the designing, the paint, brocantes, something we had dreamt of doing for so long. It is almost perfect.
I miss them so much if only I could have my family with me. I recognise that I am privileged to be in this situation, living the dream. I love pottery classes, walking my dog through the woods and villages, the amazing people I have met, and the incredible experiences life offers us. There is an internal conflict: I’m happy/not happy. I am still that people pleaser, more content with other people’s happiness; I want to redesign my life for myself. In order to achieve this, do I have to disappoint someone? Can one have it all? Can the design be perfectly imperfect?
Specialising in vintage, industrial home decor, Fat Shack Vintage is a fabulous resource for reproduction lighting for every room in the house. Stunning glass shades from French provincial, art deco and retro you will find the perfect fixtures and shades. I love their story and vision.
In their words:
“From this love of vintage, while renovating our home in 2011 we scoured the fairs, auctions and op shops of Victoria in search of hidden gems for our new home. Some to keep, some to sell. This love affair soon turned into a full-time business of buying and selling unique, vintage pieces from around Australia. This was the birth of Fat Shack Vintage. It was from here that we saw a need in Australia for designer lighting with vintage personality and flavour. Something outside the same old same old’.
“Our vision is to create and curate eclectic pieces that tell a story and appeal to our customers’ individuality. We now design, manufacture, source and supply, unique and interesting lighting that has proven popular in thousands of homes, cafes, restaurants, hotels, offices and retail spaces. We are a family business that is 100% Australian owned and operated who strives to be purveyors of the best, fine, fat, vintage style. We take pride in the quality and craftsmanship of our products. When you take home a Fat Shack Vintage product we hope you love it as much as we do”.
I think you will, click on the link and see what Fat Shack Vintage offer.
